Real Talk

Today in class, a few students had to present this project that was due over Spring Break -- a career case interview project. One of the girls in my class was gave a presentation on an interview that she did with a fashion stylist who is started his own company at 22 years old and is now styling for top magazines in Dallas! Anyways, he gave her some advice on how to be successful, which is where my inspiration for this post came from.

Some of y'all may have seen my tweet from earlier:

Here's my story

You see, when I turned 21 I was dealing with a horrible break-up from a toxic on-again/off-again relationship of 3 years and depression which I had been struggling with for about a year. The only way I really knew how to deal with all the pain was to go out, drink and socialize with friends. At some point, I found myself going out on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and sometimes one of the other days of the week. Going out frequently after you turn 21, isn't uncommon. But why I was going out was not okay, especially since alcohol is a depressant and only made my depression worse. All of this became sort of a lifestyle. My depression and anxiety got entirely too bad, to the point where I could barely make it to class -- not because of the drinking, but because I couldn't bare to be in public.

This past year, I slowed down on going out but continued to battle depression. Through the fight, I had lost the figure I once had which sadly contributed to a loss in confidence. The loss in confidence lead to me not being able to be myself. On top of everything, I had all of these goals I wanted to accomplish and was looking toward graduating at the end of the school year. I had all of these things I wanted to accomplish in my life, and never felt like I belonged in the life I was living. I felt like a stranger to my own life.

Along the way, my friendships with 3-5 of the people I hung out with and would go out with deteriorated. This constant conflict of the life I wanted to have and the life I was a part of didn't match up. I felt the only resolution was to let go of these people and cut ties. Three of these people were some of my best friends and we shared a lot of really great memories together, but there was a voice in my heart telling me I couldn't accomplish my goals let alone overcome this debilitating depression with these people in my life.

I didn't sleep for 2 months. Really. I would lay awake until 5, sometimes 7 in the morning because I wanted there to be another way. I didn't want to lose 3 friends. This was back in December, and it's now March. I've forged new friendships and grown closer with old friends along the way. More importantly, I've learned more about myself. I'm learning to love myself, and that sometimes the things you struggle with the most will be the greatest blessings in the long-run. I still struggle on some days, but the good definitely outweigh the bad.

Have you had to overcome depression, or cut someone out of your life that wasn't good for you? What advice do you have to overcome insecurities?